What is The Motherhood Hub?
I first met Kristin from The Motherhood Hub a few months ago when she hosted a short workshop in our local MIBA group. She was talking about mindset and everything she spoke about really resonated with me. The one thing that really made Kristin stand out is she spoke and explained things in a way I hadn't heard before. There were numerous light bulb moments and I left feeling motivated, inspired and in control.
As a mindset coach, Kristin supports Perth Mum's to break through their worry and self-doubt to create positive and lasting change. A life that you love and a life that you feel you are living. The Motherhood Hub's mission is to connect, support and inspire women during their pregnancy and motherhood experience. She believes that Motherhood is not just about nurturing a baby but nurturing YOURSELF too. Motherhood is a physical, mental and emotional journey and her mission is to make that journey more fulfilling, connected and empowering for YOU!
The Motherhood Hub's aim is to contradict all of society’s expectations by saying Mothers need to put themselves first! In creating the best version of yourself, you can provide the best future for your child.
Why did I choose to work with Kristin from The Motherhood Hub?
Well it's obvious isn't it? In three words I'D LOST MYSELF! I thrived in the newborn and toddler stages. I hold those moments so close to my heart and really cherish them. However, these kindy and schooling ages are incredibly challenging and I knew I needed help. It felt like parenting depression? Is that even a thing? I would say I was chronically stressed and overwhelmed. An emotional wreck and I know from speaking to other Perth Mum's this can be at times a common feeling among us.
It was more than just the blues though... I found myself unable to take Leo to appointments because I would suffer anxiety attacks, it was humiliating. I realised I was avoiding spending time with my children and even leaving the house. I knew the way we were living wasn't sustainable, the signs had been there for years and I was at breaking point. I felt as though I was failing everyone around me, not only my husband and my children, but also my friends and family.
For the past few years I have told everyone "I can't wait til my children are in school" or "I feel I will be a much better Mother to them when they are teenagers". Yes, both are still true and I'm ok with that, I am human after all! But when my husband raised concerns that he felt I wasn't bonding with our youngest Elijah it really hit me. I found myself constantly wishing away the days with my children thinking that ‘one day it will be different’.
Kristin offers a range of coaching options and I opted for her 8 Week 1:1 Coaching Package which was a bit more intensive. I had a whole new life to gain and nothing to lose right? The 8 Week Coaching Package was described as a "journey to convert chaos into calm and cultivate a deeper connection with yourself and your family". I was all in!
"To allow you to explore the woman that lies behind the Mum, the one that is ambitious, driven and passionate. Instead of suppressing that woman, this course will allow you to acknowledge her and find a place for her to exist in your life and in your home. Life may seem chaotic and hectic, however with the right tools and strategies you can create space within you to live from a place of calm so that you can respond to life in a way that aligns with your core values instead of acting with emotion in a way that doesn’t serve you or your family." - Kristin
Week 1 - Setting your intentions
- Laying the foundation for the direction of your journey
- Gaining clarity + deep diving into your desires
I admit I was so nervous to speak with Kristin and I left feeling emotionally exhausted. I knew going into it if I was going to make the most of this opportunity I needed to be honest and real with Kristin and I tried to be as open as I could with her.
This first 1 hour session was about reconnecting with myself again and by our second session I needed to be able to confidently explain to Kristin who my authentic self is. This was surprisingly really hard to do!
Kristin recommended practicing meditation to get into a relaxed state (something that does not come easily to me) and spending 5-10 minutes a day to tune into who "Melissa" was (and still is) before becoming a Wife and Mother. What does she look like? What was she doing? How does she feel? How does she act? What does she say? How does she interact with people? It was quite confronting thinking about how much I had lost myself over the years. Kristin explained the more comfortable I get with who "Melissa" is, the quicker i can snap out of it and connect with this woman (my authentic self).
We also discussed triggers. Kristin asked me to take note of situations when they come up during the week, she recommended using the "notes" in my phone to keep track. I needed to ask myself in those moments, why did I just get angry or why am I sad? Take note of anything emotional and question those emotions. Slow down and ask myself what happened within me and what thoughts came up.
Highlights from our first session together:
- We are only confined by the walls we build ourselves (limiting self beliefs or blocks)
- Nothing can't be changed. The first 7 years of our lives sets our mindset however as adults we can change our mindset
- Rewrite our thoughts into something that serves us in life
- What is your barrier right now? Lean into that resistance and question what is stopping you
- When we visualise we attach emotion to it, it creates intensity and it is important to picture yourself in those moments of success
Week 2 - Mastering your thoughts
- Understanding the power of thoughts and the meaning behind them
- Breaking through limiting beliefs and thoughts that don't serve you - practical strategies to rewrite your thoughts for positive impact
Going into our second session I felt comfortable confiding in Kristin. After a week of reflection from our first session together I was able to dive a little deeper this time and share more with her. I was able to explain who "Melissa" is. She is a confident, free and ambitious woman. She takes pride in her appearance and is quite social. She makes friends easily from all walks of life and she knows who she is. She has high self esteem, feels worthy and is at peace. All of which I hadn't felt for a very long time. I was excited now to allow Kristin to guide me back to being my authentic self.
I explained to Kristin that I had become very unhappy with myself gaining 10 kg since having my second son Elijah. In my late teens I developed an unhealthy relationship with food. Using binge eating as a coping mechanism. I had it under control for years when I became a Mother but had started resorting back to it in recent years. This no doubt contributed to my weight gain. Kristin brought it to my attention that I wasn't likely to binge when I was feeling my authentic self and I needed to focus getting back to her. This really hit me and made a lot of sense!
Kristin asked me to think about what I can do to feel happy, free and at peace. I needed to notice the times I am happy and tune in with that. She also recommended tapping into fulfillment, so asking myself firstly why do I want to lose the weight? Well... I want to lose 10kg for my health (i'm terrified of becoming severely unwell due to my diet and lack of exercise), to get back to a healthy weight and to live a long, full life with my boys. Also to enjoy the added benefit of feeling confident and attractive again. Kristin asked me to truly feel that!
During our session together we also realized I craved the spontaneity I used to have. Obviously these days I can't just run down to the beach and jump in the ocean or out of an aircraft. Those moments used to bring me so much joy, they made me feel happy, free and at peace right? When you are a Mother to young children spontaneity goes out the window. However, Kristin suggested I could still find little ways to bring it back into my life and into our weeks. I did this by choosing different routes home from outings and dropping by a restaurant on the way home for ice cream or dinner with the boys.
I expressed how overwhelmed I had become in my daily life. Kristin simply asked what am I actually doing with my day? Was I procrastinating? She encouraged me to really think about how I do things and to structure my day and to find what works for me. I know I function better and feel in control of my day by waking before my boys. I need to make that happen every day! She suggested I also set a timer for work, cleaning and even schedule time to be present with my kids. I also realized having dinner cooked in the morning helps me feel organised and in control. I also say no to playdates in the afternoons now because I know it doesn't work for myself or my boys. One thing I really valued having my husband home during covid was going for a walk on my own too, it gave me the space I need to reconnect with myself and just be. I'm looking forward to doing that again in the evenings when hubby is home and the days are longer.
Highlights from our second session together:
- See the drama I create in my life
- A little self care like doing my hair and makeup or wearing "real" clothing (not sweats) can help me feel good and start the day off well
- Don't get lost in expectations, look for the small things and appreciate them. If we are looking for the big things we often miss the little things
- How would the situation be different if I choose a different response
If I were to share my summary of notes for the entire 8 week program in this one blog post it would be incredibly lengthy, so for that reason I've decided to break this information into three separate posts so it is easier to read and take in. I will share Week 3, 4 + 5 in the coming days so be sure to check back soon.
I truly hope with all of my heart that by being real with you, sharing my own motherhood journey and experience completing The Motherhood Hub 8 Week Program it will encourage other Perth Mum's to reach out for support and find themselves again. I'm with you beautiful lady, you've got this!
You can learn more about Kristin and The Motherhood Hub here.
Melissa Sprlyan Photography specializes in family portraiture in Perth, Western Australia. Melissa Sprlyan Photography also specializes in maternity and newborn lifestyle sessions in the Perth metropolitan area including Fremantle, Rockingham, Mandurah, Scarborough, Joondalup, Yanchep and Perth Hills. If you are looking for a newborn, maternity or family session in Perth I would love to begin planning your portrait session today!
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Thank you to Jessica Rowland Photography for photographing these cherished images of myself and my son recently.